What is the definition of a mental abuser?
Mental abusers can be sneaky at best and usually save the best when alone with the mate they are abusing and in some cases act as sweet as can be when they are around friends, while other abusers may mentally "put down" their mate no matter where they are and who is around.
These are signs:
Putting down anything that person does: Example: "That was a lousy meal. Why were there lumps in the gravy? I can go down the street to the greasy spoon and do better!" In some cases the abuser may ever flip their plate on the table or throw it at the abused person. I've seen this!
Continually telling that person they are out of shape, too fat, ugly, stupid and no man (or woman) would want them.
Make every bright spot in the abused person's life miserable, such as: birthdays, anniversaries, parties, etc.
Talking out loud to their friends or other people about the abused person in a demeaning way.
These are just a few examples, but I think you will understand what I mean.
If a person doesn't get rid of the abuser they will lose their mental capacity to think for themselves and certainly lose their own identity. If you or anyone you know is going through this go to your mental health in your area and seek out help. Abused women's centers are everywhere and your mental health clinic can help out a lot.
Answer
A mental abuser uses subltry acts of kindness and abuse. They more or less abuse more with their mouth and inappropriate behavior but it can lead to physical abuse. I myself was in a relationship with an emotional abuser so here are some of the things he said and did: I was fat and ugly...but then I was the most beautiful woman on earth. I didn't do enough things to show him love, like I wasn't there enough, I wouldn't take his car in to get his brakes fixed on the same day my son had a dentist appointment, his family...mom and sisters, sister-in-law were more concerned for him than myself cuz they were there for him more, and his former girlfriends at least treated him better...but then I was the best thing that ever happened to him, I did look out for his best interests more than others...you get it. They continually say and do things that are demeaning, with no apathy.
I also was made fun of in public by him and his family and friends...because he himself went to them and degrading everything about me.
They also use things against you, such as your past, or things you confided in secrecy.
It is best to have nothing to do with them as they layer by layer destroy a persons self confidence, self esteem and self worth. The abuser will also provide false guilt on the abused leaving the abused person feeling as if they cannot do anything correctly in life...some may get stuck and think why bother.
Manyl abusers take no responsibilty for their actions or behaviors.