How can you get a person to realize he is emotionally abusive and that it hurts just as bad as physical abuse?
You get them to realize by telling them. There is no way around it.
Tell that person that some specific things that they do that hurt you and that you would like it to stop because it really hurts you and makes you feel bad. Being straight and honest is the best way to make someone understand.
In my experience dating an emotionally abusive person, the only way is to confront them in a loving manner. However, I have also experienced that confrontation comes with more abuse; seeing as they think it as an attack on their character rather than their behavior. It has also been my experience that in the confrontation they will become defensive and aggressive, but there is no other way around it.